Love and romance are geared toward women. As a romance novelist, I know this for a fact. Women want men who won’t take them for granted, and who treat them like an equal, all while continuing to keep the spark of romance alive. However, what do men want out of the same relationship?
My oldest son thought he was in love with the girl he dated for eight years. They talked about being married, and he gave her a beautiful engagement ring, along with a fairytale proposal at the Ritz Carlton. He could hardly wait to start their life together.
Unfortunately, she wasn’t on the same page. Six contentious months later, during which they argued over everything from tuxedoes, colors, wedding guests, and indoor/outdoor reception, his fiancée gave him the ring back and said she just wasn’t ready to get married. He was gut-shot. He’d had his life planned out to the nth-degree, they were going to live happily ever after, and now he was utterly devastated.
Once the initial shock wore off, he realized more horrible realities. He hadn’t finished his education, he had a part-time job, and he’d run up debt trying to keep her love. Oh, and he was still living with his parents. He’d hit rock bottom. There was only one direction to go.
My oldest son thought he was in love with the girl he dated for eight years. They talked about being married, and he gave her a beautiful engagement ring, along with a fairytale proposal at the Ritz Carlton. He could hardly wait to start their life together.
Unfortunately, she wasn’t on the same page. Six contentious months later, during which they argued over everything from tuxedoes, colors, wedding guests, and indoor/outdoor reception, his fiancée gave him the ring back and said she just wasn’t ready to get married. He was gut-shot. He’d had his life planned out to the nth-degree, they were going to live happily ever after, and now he was utterly devastated.
Once the initial shock wore off, he realized more horrible realities. He hadn’t finished his education, he had a part-time job, and he’d run up debt trying to keep her love. Oh, and he was still living with his parents. He’d hit rock bottom. There was only one direction to go.
Nearly three years later, he’s finished and received his bachelor’s degree, he’s almost out of debt, and he’ll be entering the teaching credential program in the spring. His dad and I have guided him these last few years, helping him recover from the experience. And now he’s met a new woman.
As a mom, you have an idea of the perfect mate for your children, and I’m no different. I’d always had my doubts about his fiancée and, unfortunately, I’d been right. So, I was a little gun-shy when he said he’d met a woman that he really seemed to click with on his dating app. I reserved judgment until after they met.
Online dating doesn’t seem feasible to me. I’ve cringed as he met woman after woman, going out on strings of solo dates with people who have the same interests as him on paper, yet are miles apart from him in reality.
When he came home from this latest date, he looked gut-shot again, with one big difference. It was in a good way. He couldn’t stop talking about this latest woman. “It felt so different,” he kept saying.
She laughed and talked and captivated him. He said he felt like he knew her forever. They clicked on a level he’d never had before. And he was physically attracted to her. Their connection grew stronger with every subsequent date. We held our breath, because to see your child suffer through the pain that he’d had? We didn’t ever want to see that happen again.
And then we met her. She’s adorable, and everything I ever hoped a woman would be for my son. She’s smart, witty, cute, and thinks the sun rises and sets with him. He loves how she can talk to him, joke with him, and compromise on differing subjects. She makes him a better person, and he does the same for her. If I dare say it so early in the game, I’d think they were two halves of a whole. And I’m relieved.
As a mom, you have an idea of the perfect mate for your children, and I’m no different. I’d always had my doubts about his fiancée and, unfortunately, I’d been right. So, I was a little gun-shy when he said he’d met a woman that he really seemed to click with on his dating app. I reserved judgment until after they met.
Online dating doesn’t seem feasible to me. I’ve cringed as he met woman after woman, going out on strings of solo dates with people who have the same interests as him on paper, yet are miles apart from him in reality.
When he came home from this latest date, he looked gut-shot again, with one big difference. It was in a good way. He couldn’t stop talking about this latest woman. “It felt so different,” he kept saying.
She laughed and talked and captivated him. He said he felt like he knew her forever. They clicked on a level he’d never had before. And he was physically attracted to her. Their connection grew stronger with every subsequent date. We held our breath, because to see your child suffer through the pain that he’d had? We didn’t ever want to see that happen again.
And then we met her. She’s adorable, and everything I ever hoped a woman would be for my son. She’s smart, witty, cute, and thinks the sun rises and sets with him. He loves how she can talk to him, joke with him, and compromise on differing subjects. She makes him a better person, and he does the same for her. If I dare say it so early in the game, I’d think they were two halves of a whole. And I’m relieved.
It's early days in their relationship, but I don’t have any doubts that it will end in anything but something lasting. I have that “feeling.” When he first asked me how I knew I was in love, I couldn’t put my finger on a definitive way. All I could tell him was, “I just knew your dad was it.”
Now I can say it again. I’ll keep it to myself, of course, but it’s clear as day: I know she’s the right one for him. Everything that happened to him has led him to this girl, and her to him. And it will be worth it. When a son falls in love, real love, it’s a beautiful thing to witness.
Have you had a similar experience with your children? Let me know!
Now I can say it again. I’ll keep it to myself, of course, but it’s clear as day: I know she’s the right one for him. Everything that happened to him has led him to this girl, and her to him. And it will be worth it. When a son falls in love, real love, it’s a beautiful thing to witness.
Have you had a similar experience with your children? Let me know!
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