Captain Andre Dubois is the French pirate in my historical romance, The Pirate’s Bride, which debuts in twelve days. Literary Wanderlust, the publisher of the novel, managed to catch up with the handsome buccaneer, and got him to talk a little about himself. Here’s the result of that little interview, available only to blog readers such as yourselves. Enjoy!
Hello, sir. I’m glad you’ve granted us a few minutes of your time. Let’s jump right in. First off, can you tell us your name and a bit about yourself? I’ll do no jumping, madam. My name is Andre Dubois, and I am the fiercest pirate in the Caribbean. Perhaps in the world! I am captain of the Jade Princess, and son of the Commandant of the Confederation of Pirates.
Impressive. Who do you admire most in your world? And, why? I admire myself, who else? I am feared by all men, and loved by most women. I have the fastest ship in the Caribbean, and I can board a ship and take its swag without firing a shot. Who else can make that claim?
Why, I have no idea. Only you, I guess. Shall we move on? What's the most embarrassing moment in your life? I'd rather not discuss that. It's detailed in that book that writer insisted on writing. Could I tell you about my greatest victory instead?
Um, no. Perhaps later. Do you have a best friend? Yes. That would be my First Mate, Pedro de Gallo. I found him in Seville, Spain. Or maybe he found me. Doesn't matter. He's almost as good as me at the helm. Almost. But he's quite shy, while I'm not, in case you didn't notice.
Um, yes, I did notice, actually. Whatever. What’s your favorite food? Mm, don't know if I can rightly tell you what I like to eat. But I do like rum. Lots and lots of rum.
That’s just plain naughty, Captain. And, I like rum, too. What's the strangest thing that's ever happened to you? I was forced to get married. Shackled to one woman! Can you believe that? I can't be satisfied by one woman! At least, I don't think so. Though there is one...
Ooo, I like the sound of this. Are you in love with someone? Tell us about them. Did it work out? I don't know if it's love. Perhaps lust is a better word. She and I don't see eye to eye on a lot of things. But, merde, she's gorgeous. Tall, with ebony hair and the brightest blue eyes that sparkle like lightning bolts when she's angry. And the most round, luscious...you get the picture, I hope. You'll have to read that pesky writer's book to find out more.
Oh, I intend to. Can you tell us about your family, then? Are you close with them? I have a father. Me mother died of smallpox when I was little. Me father is the Commandant of all pirates, as I already said. I try to stay far away from him, because he's a meddlesome...well, you know the type...but he's getting old, y'know? I check in on him a bit more now, now that he's landlocked in New Orleans, I think you Americans and Brits call it.
Lovely city. So, what is your idea of perfect happiness? Non-stop sex on a deserted island.
My, my, is it getting hot in here? While I open a window, tell me, what's your greatest strength? My animal magnetism to the fairer sex. Women flock to me. Besides that, I'm a crack shot with a pistol, and can swipe the wings off a fly with me cutlass.
Not your humility, I take it? Alright, then. On what occasion do you lie? Pretty much as soon as I wake up. I don't consider it lying as much as 'embellishing.' I mean, the truth can be so boring, don't you think? For example, why be satisfied with saying you are good at something, when you can say you are the best.
Why, indeed? What is the quality you most like in a man or a woman? Physically? A woman's...you know...breasts. The bigger, the better, I always say. Besides appearance, I'd say loyalty. Y' gotta be able to trust a person; otherwise, what's the point of having them around?
True. Let’s see, where were we? Ah, yes. Which talent would you most like to have? In or out of the bedroom? Because, in the bedroom, I pretty much have mastered them all. I mean, there's this one thing I do with--Sorry. A master doesn't reveal his secrets. I guess I could say I'd like to read minds, especially feminine ones. Women can be so changeable, it would be great to know what they are thinking.
Whew, it’s definitely sweltering in here. What is the most important lesson you've learned about life, Captain? That you should enjoy it to its fullest, because you never know when it might be cut short. Whoa, that sounds much too philosophical for me. Got any rum?
Can’t say that I do, more’s the pity. Last couple of questions, sir. What is your most treasured possession? Me ship, the Jade Princess, a beautiful, green-painted ship that has taken me away from more tight places than I care to remember.
It sounds wonderful. If you were to compare yourself to someone from another novel, who would it be and why? Casanova, because he was a lover of all women, and I think I come mighty close. Or maybe Rhett Butler in Gone with the Wind, though I'm getting a little ahead of meself in time periods with that one.
I can’t fault you on those choices, Captain, not at all. I think you could give either one of those men a run for their money. That concludes our interview, sir. Thank you for being so honest. Now, if you have some time, would you care to go get some rum with me? And perhaps you could explain in more detail that one talent you have, the one thing you do in the bedroom…